A New Day, A New Tumblr

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Yeah, I made one. Hopefully it will be more of an expression of me than this place. Don’t get me wrong. I love coming here to vent and let it all out. I really do. I just want a new place that looks more like what my head and heart are all about. I’ll still rant and rave and update y’all about my life here ๐Ÿ™‚

My Tumblr

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Luckiest Sick Girl Ever

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After spending the last few days in excruciating amounts of pain and with doctor’s hands in places that no one’s should ever go, I’ve realized a few things.

Laughter is not the best medicine. People that say that are lying. Love is the best medicine. It really is. Last night I may have been crying like a baby in the hospital bed, but you know what? My knight in shining armor was right there next to me, holding my hand and telling me that he was sorry I was hurting. And let me tell you, true love is when a guy will sit next to your bedside for 6 hours holding your hand when he is bored out of his mind, freezing, worried and exhausted.

I am so truly blessed to have the people in my life that I do. Yes, boyfriend is one of them. But is he the only one? Of course not. Even the friends that I don’t get to talk to as often as I like–when I do see them, they light up my world. I’m really sorry. Usually I’ve got the sarcastic and pessimistic humorous things to whine about, but lately I’ve been so mushy. It probably is seriously annoying.

Anyway, I just basically wanted to brag about how lucky I am ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, don’tย canonizeย the boy for being a saint. He made fun of me so hard when I freaked out about the IV needle.

Little jerk.

Question for Today

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Question for Today:
If you could make one change to the world/society around you, what would it be?

I’m sure a lot of people would say eliminate world hunger and stop war and whatnot, but
A) world hunger is a reality that we created with our overpopulation, guys.
B) war forces progress. the reality of it also encourages social order.

My answer to this question is probably completely selfish, but I would want to get rid of the way that people judge each other, or change the way that we judge each other, at the very least. For a good portion of my life, I felt very isolated…and a lot of it is because of the way that we expect people to fit into certain social expectations. I’m not saying that I’m so completely different from everyone, and look at poor little me; I’m just too cool for you all. That’s totally not it.

I’m saying that it’s hard to find the place where you’re supposed to fit in, and this is true of myself. Growing up I had a lot of issues because I didn’t really feel comfortable in any particular spot. I found that my comfort came from staying isolated. I holed up in my room and read books, and I often did the same at school. I was social, of course, but it was never fulfilling. I think that’s mostly because I have a hard time feeling accepted, since I’m kind of an oddball. I get judged because I talk too much or because I seem nerdy or because I’m a plus sized girl, or whatever. The list goes on.

Now I’m in a place where I can be completely comfortable with myself, and people can either like me or not. However, I wasn’t always this way. It was much more difficult to not care what people thought when I was in high school. High school is terrible for too many people. It’s during the transition to adulthood, which is difficult enough in itself. Not to mention the classwork and teachers. Why throw in a bunch of catty bitches and social expectations?

Point being–stop judging people. They feel crappy enough on their own.
Other point being–thank god I’m in college and I can choose who to surround myself with.

major Major issues.

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I’m such a bad person. I never update anymore. Mostly because I get so busy, and I actually like sleep. Not that I get any of that, but still. I mostly just use this to update people about my life so I don’t have to talk to them, but whatever. Let’s pretend I didn’t say that.

Gah. So much has been going on that I don’t even know what to say. But I will open with this: This isn’t gonna be one of my super-happy-jumpy posts where I’m ranting about something oddly hilarious. I’m not really in the mood for that…which is rare, but yeah. I’m feeling a bit introspective.

I think it’s mostly because I’m in college and the whole “declaring a major” thing is actually a reality now. And I HATE it. I always knew what I wanted to be, and what I wanted to go to college for. It was going to be a Master’s in Journalism, and I wanted to work my way up the food chain in the newspaper world. But: reality check. The written word is kind of dying, people. Also, I don’t think I ever realized how terrible of an author/writer/producer of written work I am. Now I go back and I’m like…this isn’t my thing. I can’t do this. And awhile back I was like, “I WANNA GO TO MED SCHOOL”…but I talked myself out of that one. Mostly for two reasons.

1. I am sooo freakin lazy. I probably always will be. I might be able to fight it, but that’s a level of concentration and commitment that I definitely lack.
2. I value my individuality. Yeah, I know there are probably 5.6 million people in the world that share common characteristics with me. But no one is exactly the same. Choosing that career path would stifle my personality quite a bit. Maybe if I got some ADD meds I could do it, but idk. Relying on medication isn’t exactly something that excites me. At all.

Ha. It’s funny. I stopped typing after that last sentence half an hour ago. That’s how messed up my attention span/concentration is. And it’s worse when I’m tired. I hate being so apathetic. I’m in college. It’s time to get serious now. I’ve been slacking off for too long. Last semester was basically a giant waste. And I mean, that’s okay because I’m still on track/ahead of the game, since I was Class of 2010. But still…I’d kind of like to not waste a ton of time getting focused. I’m trying to kick old habits, and stop doing things that make me embarrassed of myself. But geez, it’s hard. I know, that’s so lame sounding. But it’s true.

Yeah. I’m falling asleep. It’s been an hour since I typed the last paragraph. I guess…I dunno. The point of this post is…well, there isn’t really one. Except, I need to find a major. Something that I actually want to do with my life. Big decision. Everyone else is sure, but I’m not. I’ll figure it out soon, or not. Plenty of time. Also, clever title, eh? ๐Ÿ˜›

Omijesusinheaveni’mbusy…

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Big, exciting things are happening, people. Big ones. I need to like, sit down and organize my thoughts, but alas, alack; I want for time. Haha. No seriously though, I’m ridiculously busy just like I used to always be…so it’s time to not be lazy! Need to finish moving my stuff back to my parents’ house (where I belong!) and “get my head in the game” for this semester. It’s a busy one, between Concert Choir, CHAMBER SINGERS, American Sign Language 2, Sociology 2, English, History 18, and poooossibly Internet Research Techniques since it’s only 2 weeks long and just optimizes search engine knowledge. Woohoo! So yeah, anyway…

Guy that I’m head over heels for loves me, I probably have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome- Hypermobility type (which explains a lot), I made Chamber Singers, I’m changing my major again, I need to get a part time job, I suck at Rock Band, I love my family more than anything, and I need to go to sleep! hahaha seriously though?

I pretty much have the best life ever…as long as the tiny aliens that live in the rafters of Mat’s mom’s house don’t decide to graduate from switching babies to like, taking over the world. Cuz I mean, geez…gimme a break!

OH OH Also? I didn’t have to spend a PENNY on books this semester. BOOYAH. Mom had one, Mat had another, and all of the rest were unnecessary. HELL TO THE YES.

Okay, I’m really going to bed now….

HE LOVES ME.

Stuffety Stuff :D

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Okay so like, I have lots to catch up on today, and I’m feeling especially all-over-the-place, so just deal with my nonchalant randomness, if you will. Sorry that I didn’t continue with the weight loss tracky-thingy yesterday, but I ended up getting super busy with my actual life and didn’t really have time to blog. Iknorite? Actual life? Who am I kidding? ๐Ÿ˜› lol

Soooo here’s a slight recap of the last few days:
-Started a huge organizational project involving the Purr-fect Pals, Inc. businessy-half of the animal shelter where I live/work.
-Cleaned the crap out of the house with my boss/second mommy Yvonne
-Entirely moved someone new into the house
-Moved furniture around like crazy
-Actually got internet hooked up, and wireless, and figured out how to remote-desktop access servers or whatever and all of that great stuff
-Got addicted to my diet supplement and the energy that it gives me O.O
-Took on a babeh kitten that thinks I’m her mommy. She’s like 2 weeks old, eyes barely opened, and I feed her kitten milk with a syringe while she bites the crap out of me and pees on my bras ๐Ÿ™‚
-I hurt myself like a million bajillion times. Like seriously, my legs are covered in bruises and scrapes
-This morning some asshole puppies (great Danes) tried to chew up little Trixie (who is only 9.4 lbs) AGAIN, only this time they sliced open her throat and cut her up a bunch and OH YEAH THEY KIND OF MISSED HER JUGULAR BY LESS THAN A CENTIMETER. Suffice it to say, those puppies aren’t being let back into the house anymore. Good riddance. All they do is chew shit up anyway. Little Trixie will survive, but we spent the morning at the vet, and came home covered in puppy blood and fur and out 300+ bucks, but I’m heading back to pick her up in the morning. She’s drugged up anyway. Poor thing. It was way more traumatic than I’m making it sound, dudes.
-I didn’t do my measurements today because I’m being lazy and don’t want to get up ATM, but I weighed in at 220 this morning. Woohoo!
-Also, I thought it prevalent to mention that I got a comment on one of my older weight loss posts, and I just thought that maybe I should clarify a few things.
A: Insulting me is not nearly as effective when my 13 year old sister uses better grammar than you do.
B: The only people’s opinions that I truly care about are people that are close to me, and I can tell the difference between a friend divulging an honest opinion to me, and some random asshole thinking he’s super cool for calling me fat.
C: I’m not doing this diet plan for the approval of others. Sure, that’s nice. But it’s for mostly health related reasons. Telling me that I’m unlovable because I’m plus sized is so dumb, mostly because so many people love me anyway. Thinking that you have that much pull is just dumb. Cuz guess what? I know I’m fat. Duuurf. That’s why I’m trying to lose weight.
So anyway, yeah. That’s just for future reference. Lol. I’ve made a ton of personal progress, and I’m lovin all of the life changes that are happening. Contentment is the bomb, dudes. Peace.

omg college?ย :O

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Have you ever had something totally awesome kind of hit you in the face and you’re like whoa! wtf? COOL. But at the same time you’re like, kind of weirded out because things that awesome totally never happen to you? Yeah. That’s about how I’m feeling right now. Weird, weird weird day.

I realize that I haven’t been posting much as of late and I’m sowwy. Just been really busy, mostly. I didn’t used to have a life, and now I kind of do. Between work, school sign-ups, moving and dealing with other people’s personal issues, I’ve been a busy girl! Of course, I still never sleep. Nothing’s changed all that much.

I cannot WAIT for school to start. At the beginning of the summer I was all like, stoked to have the summer off for once and now I’m practically dying because I actually miss school. I know, I’m pretty weird. I just can’t wait to get back into the swing of things, and I feel completely relaxed in my new living arrangements now that some things have smoothed out. It’s really awesome to just…be. I’m pretty dang happy ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, I was trying to reply to a comment on my last post and I deleted the whole post on accident, which was really annoying. So if you’re wondering why it’s gone, it’s because I’m a retard ๐Ÿ˜›

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