Awesome bits of a conversation I had with a close friend tonight:

Me: i wanna make a bet. what can we bet about?
Him: who’s a retard? oh wait..i know THAT one.
Me: how about we make lists of nice things about each other and whoever’s is longer wins.
Him: im so winning
Me: they have to be TRUE
Him: shit.
Him: this sounds like a trap. youre going to get mad at me either way
Me: but you know how much i love winning shit, and if i lose, it’ll still be nice because you said sweet things about me.
Him: oh, yeah. i forgot how much of a competitive freak you are. how could i forget?
Me: you dont live with me.
Him: YET. please dont ever get kicked out. i cant handle you.
Me: no one can. YES. im on number 11.
Him: i’m on 4.
Me: i am such a boss
Him: i just have better answers 😛

30 minutes later…
Him: i think i’m going to go to bed.
Me: okaaaay.
Him: good night honey bunches of oats.
Me: night, sunshine! don’t die in your sleep!
Him: i’ll try not to. although i’ve heard that i sleep with my face in the pillow.
Me: awesome. it’ll be much easier to smother you in your sleep when i get kicked out and have to live with you. then i can make it look like an accident.
Him: good night, crazy girl.
Me: just you wait. it’s comin….