Yeah. That’s right. Not me. The universe. Because everything is obviously the universe’s fault and has nothing to do with me. I am blameless. Here’s a list of things that could be blamed on me, but are the universe’s fault. Take it up with your God, people.

1. No posts being on the blog for a million billion years..till now. So not my fault.
2. My facebook being inaccessible. More on this below.
3. My bangs being very high maintenance and annoying.
4. My cat missing a patch of hair. I did NOT knock the candle over. Ghosts did it.
5. Me saying hair instead of fur. I was under duress when I wrote number 4.
6. Me being under duress. The reason? People trying to take my blog off the web. Sadly for them, I will never be silenced. Go me!
7. My feet being too big to fit in the cute shoes I have in the back of my closet. Curse you!!!

So basically, the universe fails. and it has NOTHING to do with me.

Now, about the facebook thing, which is SO not my fault. I realized that my password was totally guessable, so after like 20 minutes of figuring out how to change it, I did. I changed it to my boyfriend’s name. Except when I went to log in, I couldn’t. I then realized that I had spelled his name wrong. Except like, you have to confirm your new password. How the hell did I spell his name wrong twice? This is when i came to the conclusion that the universe is out to get me. If you have plans with me EVER, cancel them. I am no longer leaving my house. Which is good because I’d probably get lost anyway, and then discover that Stephanie Meyer was right about werewolves, and then I’d get eaten. So I’m better off staying in here, which is fine by me.

Advertisements