When I was young, I accepted the faith of my parents easily and without protest. I didn’t mind church or any religious activities that I was dragged to at all. But as I got older, I found it suspicious that I had never had a genuinely religious experience. No epiphany. No words of God in my ear. Yet I was still an unwavering Christian. By then it was only because of my moral strength that I clung to Christianity.

And then came the most tragic event of my life. My boyfriend died and I was only a sophomore in high school. The whole world fell apart before my eyes. Nothing made sense. And then suddenly, I couldn’t passively accept the God who wasn’t there (Dawkins *drool*) anymore. I knew that if such things could happen to people and God did nothing about it, then all of the things Christians believe couldn’t be true. Because an all-powerful being who is endlessly compassionate couldn’t possibly let his children suffer the way people do every single day. It just doesn’t make sense, and it never will.

The excuse for this is that “God never gives you more than he knows you can handle”. It’s bullshit. If God loved you as his child, and had endless compassion and knew how we felt, he wouldn’t let these things happen. Life goes on, and those searching for comfort can find it in religion, but it’s empty. We are what we are as a species thanks to millions of years of science. That’s what it comes down to. Not some guy who magically made us all. Because if he did, why didn’t we exist 20 million years ago? There are thousands of questions just like this one, and they will continue to go unanswered. I’m tired, so I’ll rant some more later.

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